I ended up only lasting about two weeks on the 100 Day project. I had set a goal to write or proofread a post every day for a at least a few minutes. I ended up burning out and stopping. I was hesitant to write this post but I decided to risk being honest and admit that I didn’t finish. I wanted to write about what I learned from this. Another reason that I wanted to post an update was that I had told everyone I was doing the 100 day project and I wanted to let people know what was going on.
At first, I was excited about this project. I have wanted to get in the habit of writing on a regular basis for a while and this project seemed like a good way to create a regular writing habit. The 100 Day Project is a big project with a lot of participants. I figured that since a lot of people do this project, that I would get some support from other participants. I was also picturing doing all the writing projects that I think about doing but don’t do and gaining new content for my blog.The first week or so went well. I got a lot of writing done and was feeling good about writing every day. Since I was writing more, I started reading the book Bird by Bird by Ann Lamott.
Then I started to burn out and struggle with this project.During the week I did OK. On the weekends it was hard to get myself to write. Plus, I got sick around that time and didn’t feel well at all. It was hard to get myself to write when I felt sick. There are so many posts on the hashtag that it is easy to get lost and I struggled to read any of them. I felt like it was hard to get interaction with others who are doing this project. I got bored with reading Bird by Bird and didn’t want to finish reading it. I was also uneasy with looking like I did this to promote my blog. I felt uncomfortable writing a post then constantly sending people to my blog because I didn’t do this to promote my blog. I mainly wanted to write more often.
I also struggled with posting updates on Instagram. I keep thinking that who cares what I post? Who cares if I write every day? I felt out of place with the sea of people posting pretty pictures of their visual art. I was worried my posts were boring and I struggled with what to say on the posts. A post saying, “Hi I proofread a post” is not necessarily Instagram worthy or that interesting. Also, “Hi I wrote today isn’t Instagram worthy either. Some of the writing I was doing is not anything I want to publish and I feel funny saying that in an update. Will people want to see what I wrote? Will it seem rude to say I am writing but I don’t want to show you? I am not comfortable with that part of social media where you are supposed to share everything that you are doing. I wasn’t comfortable doing daily updates at all. I also felt like I was posting 100 day project posts in the place of my knitting posts on Instagram. The knitting and crochet community on Instagram is so supportive and I missed interacting with them.
I thought about quitting. Then I thought about how I already told everyone that I was doing this. I thought about how embarrassed I would be to suddenly stop posting updates. I got bored reading Bird by Bird. The main reason I finished Bird by Bird was because I already told everyone on Instagram that I was reading it. Then I think, is that a good reason to do this, to do anything? In the end, I decided to shelve the project. I quietly stopped posting updates. I am not sure anyone noticed. Honestly, I was relieved when I stopped. I realized that I am not comfortable posting what I will do and would rather post an update after I finished. I also learned that I don’t want to get caught up in the fear of , “what will people think?” I don’t want to be afraid to change course because of that. I like to write and want to build a regular writing practice but I also have realized I want to keep the daily process private and don’t want to write daily Instagram posts about it.